BR TONDERAI KANDEMIIRI, OFM, (27), was tragically killed in a car crash in Zimbabwe in July. FR COLIN GARVEY, OFM, shares the extraordinary happening experienced by Tonderai that drew him to join the Franciscans.

The news from the Provincial office was laconic enough — regret to announce the death of Br Tonderai Kandemiiri, a second year student at St Bonaventure College, Lusaka — a road accident in Zimbabwe — sympathy — family and confreres — burial — suffrages. Tonderai was a student of mine in St Bonaventure, and I thought he was a fine young man. But then I think all of them are, especially perhaps the ones from Zimbabwe and belonging to my Province. I had conversed with him only casually, and had little idea of where he was coming from. I used to call him Thunder Eye, to help me with remembering his African name. I had noted that he had been entered on our roll under Tonderai rather than his surname Kandemiiri, and that I would have to change that.

And then I remembered something else. One of the subjects he had studied in his last semester was philosophy of religion. Over the last few decades, both in Galway and in Lusaka, I have assigned as a project to my students in this course an essay on “Religious Experience: a Personal View.” Some would deal with the topic impersonally, and others recount their personal experience. What I remembered was that Tonderai had made a very personal response to the project. Did I still have a copy of it? When I returned to Lusaka, I searched my notes, and there I found it. His response had taken me by surprise, and made a deep impression. He told his story simply and eloquently. Here it is, slightly edited.

“Now You Are Mine”

“Being at the climax of enjoying my musical career as an up-and-coming traditional mbira artist, I was excelling in my ambition of becoming one of the Zimbabwean idols in playing the traditional instrument. I was working tirelessly to achieve my dream. My routine of going to church stopped for almost three years. Travelling and rehearsal occupied my life. I was so caught up in my own little world that I completely forgot that I was created for a purpose which was beyond what I was thinking.

One night was to change my life. The whole band was supposed to perform at one of the finest hotels in the country, and we were expecting a large turn-out. That day I had mixed feelings, and didn’t have the urge to perform. Something was bothering me, and I couldn’t understand what it was. That day was our day to achieve recognition performing live on the national radio. The show went perfectly well, and it was one of my best performances, and we managed to get a big contract from the hotel to come and play twice per week. On my way home, many questions were pestering me and I didn’t have answers to them. I asked myself the most profound fundamental questions about my life, about where my life was heading and what was my purpose here on earth, apart from entertaining my fans.

A week later I decided to go to church on a Sunday afternoon to find some answers which I was seeking. When I arrived at the parish, the priest I was looking for was not around, so I decided to enter the church, and I sat on the first bench and positioned myself for prayer. I focused all my attention on the crucifix for about twenty minutes. Nothing happened, and I was becoming uneasy with the silence. I was thinking of leaving. And then it happened. The crucifix turned golden bright in my presence for some minutes. I stared at it in awe, raptured in the magnificence of the image. I started to shed tears uncontrollably. But what shocked me was the voice which was clear and frightening. The voice said to me: ‘Leave your instrument; place it on the altar; from now on you are mine.’

I rose from where I was kneeling, and the bright light disappeared. Being in a state of confusion, I didn’t know whether I was asleep or not. When I came back to my senses, I realised that it was real, and that a great responsibility lay ahead of me. It was clear that my life had to take a different direction, completely contrary to the dream I had been following and near to reaching.

I tried to run away and rub out the whole experience, but it was all in vain. I was being haunted by the heavens and in the end I surrendered totally. The vividness of the calling was so strong, I decided to respond to it by becoming a religious. When I came to this point of transition I knew that the Lord had something more for me, which had nothing to do with my prestige, fame, money, etc. Though it was the most painful decision I ever made, I knew somehow that this fascinating experience was leading me to something unique.”

What Might Have Been

That is the story as Tonderai told it. One might speculate on what might have been. A great pastor? A spellbinding preacher? His musical gifts working in the service of the Good News? A latter-day troubadour or jongleur, in the Franciscan tradition? Such speculation is vain, of course. But at least we have his testimony to what drove him. I was reminded of the story of St Francis on his way to Apulia to achieve his dream of knighthood. He had a vision and heard a voice telling him to renounce the career he envisaged for himself, and to put himself at the service of the greatest Lord and Master of all.

All that ended for Tonderai in the crash of metal on metal, and in the twisted wreck of a car and the laceration of his body on the road in Zimbabwe on 1st July. Or did it? No doubt it all has a place in the inscrutable divine plan, and we must live with that. But I am glad that he told his story and I think his testimony will live on.

May his soul and the souls of all the faithful departed through the mercy of God rest in peace.